Ambrose Bierce quotes

Ambrose Bierce, the acclaimed American journalist and writer, was born in 1842. Known for his sharp wit and biting satire, Bierce pursued a successful career as a journalist before dedicating himself to writing fiction. With his iconic collection "The Devil's Dictionary," Bierce showcased his brilliant wordplay and unique perspective. His most famous short story, "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge," remains a staple of American literature. Bierce's mysterious disappearance in 1913 adds an enigmatic aura to his legacy. Explore Ambrose Bierce's intriguing life and groundbreaking works for an unforgettable literary journey.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

- Ambrose Bierce

Twice, adv. Once too often.

- Ambrose Bierce

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

- Ambrose Bierce

The hardest tumble a man can take is to fall over his own bluff.

- Ambrose Bierce

Sweater, n. Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.

- Ambrose Bierce

Sabbath, n. A weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and was arrested on the seventh.

- Ambrose Bierce

Politeness, n. The most acceptable hypocrisy.

- Ambrose Bierce

Philosophy, n. A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.

- Ambrose Bierce

Optimist, n. A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.

- Ambrose Bierce

Once, adj. Enough.

- Ambrose Bierce

Ocean, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.

- Ambrose Bierce

Marriage, n. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, making in all, two.

- Ambrose Bierce

Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

- Ambrose Bierce

Lottery, n. A tax on people who are bad at math.

- Ambrose Bierce

Happiness, n. An agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.

- Ambrose Bierce

Faith, n. Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.

- Ambrose Bierce

Democracy, n. Four wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.

- Ambrose Bierce

Corporation, n. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.

- Ambrose Bierce

Cat, n. A soft, indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.

- Ambrose Bierce

Cabbage, n. A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man’s head.

- Ambrose Bierce

Admiration, n.: Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.

- Ambrose Bierce

Acquaintance, n.: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.

- Ambrose Bierce

Absurdity, n. A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.

- Ambrose Bierce

A lawyer is the larval stage of a politician.

- Ambrose Bierce

Brain, n. An apparatus with which we think we think.

- Ambrose Bierce

Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.

- Ambrose Bierce

Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.

- Ambrose Bierce

I believe we shall come to care about people less and less. The more people one knows the easier it becomes to replace them. It's one of the curses of London.

- Ambrose Bierce

Curiosity, n. An objectionable quality of the female mind. The desire to know whether or not a woman is cursed with curiosity is one of the most active and insatiable passions of the masculine soul.

- Ambrose Bierce

Historian - a broad-gauge gossip.

- Ambrose Bierce