Dorothy Parker quotes

Dorothy Parker was an iconic American writer, poet, and critic known for her sharp wit and keen observations on society. Born in 1893, she rose to fame as a member of the Algonquin Round Table, a group of New York City writers and intellectuals. Parker's work often focused on the complexities of love, relationships, and the human experience. Her famous quotes and cutting humor have made her a literary legend. Explore more about Dorothy Parker's life and works to appreciate her lasting impact on literature and culture.

One more drink and I’ll be under the host.

- Dorothy Parker

Now I know the things I know, and I do the things I do; and if you do not like me so, to hell, my love, with you!

- Dorothy Parker

Never complain, never explain.

- Dorothy Parker

Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.

- Dorothy Parker

Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it and it darts away.

- Dorothy Parker

It’s easier to write about those you hate—just as it’s easier to criticize a bad play or a bad book.

- Dorothy Parker

It's not the tragedies that kill us; it's the messes.

- Dorothy Parker

If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.

- Dorothy Parker

I'm not a writer with a drinking problem, I'm a drinker with a writing problem.

- Dorothy Parker

I'm never going to accomplish anything; that's perfectly clear to me. I'm never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don't do anything. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that any more.

- Dorothy Parker

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

- Dorothy Parker

I'd like to have money. And I'd like to be a good writer. These two can come together, and I hope they will, but if that's too adorable, I'd rather have money.

- Dorothy Parker

I won't telephone him. I'll never telephone him again as long as I live. He'll rot in hell, before I'll call him up. You don't have to give me strength, God; I have it myself. If he wanted me, he could get me. He knows where I am. He knows I'm waiting here. He's so sure of me, so sure. I wonder why they hate you, as soon as they are sure of you.

- Dorothy Parker

I was always sweet, at first. Oh, it's so easy to be sweet to people before you love them.

- Dorothy Parker

I require three things in a man: he must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.

- Dorothy Parker

I like to have a martini, Two at the very most. After three I'm under the table, after four I'm under my host.

- Dorothy Parker

I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.

- Dorothy Parker

I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true.

- Dorothy Parker

How do people go to sleep? I’m afraid I’ve lost the knack.

- Dorothy Parker

His voice was as intimate as the rustle of sheets.

- Dorothy Parker

Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.

- Dorothy Parker

He and I had an office so tiny, that an inch smaller and it would have been adultery.

- Dorothy Parker

Four be the things I'd have been better without: love, curiosity, freckles and doubt.

- Dorothy Parker

Ducking for apples – change one letter and it's the story of my life.

- Dorothy Parker

Don't look at me in that tone of voice.

- Dorothy Parker

Constant use had not worn ragged the fabric of their friendship.

- Dorothy Parker

Better be left by twenty dears Than lie in a love-less bed; Better a loaf that’s wet with tears, Than cold, unsalted bread.

- Dorothy Parker

A little bad taste is like a nice dash of paprika.

- Dorothy Parker

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

- Dorothy Parker

The sun's gone dim, and the moon's gone black. For I loved him, and he didn't love back.

- Dorothy Parker