Fred Allen quotes

Fred Allen, an American comedian, was one of the brightest stars of the Golden Age of Radio. With his quick wit and satirical humor, Allen captivated audiences across the nation. Born in 1894, Allen began his career in vaudeville before transitioning to radio, where he achieved immense popularity with his own show, "The Fred Allen Show." Known for his razor-sharp mind and clever ad-libs, Allen became a master of comedic timing, often engaging in hilarious impromptu exchanges with his guests. His radio career spanned over three decades, earning him the nickname "The King of Radio Comedy." Fred Allen left an indelible mark on the American entertainment industry, inspiring generations of comedians and earning numerous accolades, including a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Even today, his comedic genius continues to be celebrated and admired, making him a true legend in the world of entertainment.

Television is a new medium. It's called a medium because nothing is well-done.

- Fred Allen

Jumping at several small opportunities may get us there more quickly than waiting for one big one to come along.

- Fred Allen

I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.

- Fred Allen

A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

- Fred Allen

Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great.

- Fred Allen

During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk; today we have small men enjoying big talk.

- Fred Allen

A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on.

- Fred Allen

Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats; then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.

- Fred Allen

Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just look ridiculous year after year.

- Fred Allen

Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.

- Fred Allen

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.

- Fred Allen

The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.

- Fred Allen

A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.

- Fred Allen

Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.

- Fred Allen

A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing, but who, as a group, can meet and decide that nothing can be done.

- Fred Allen

Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.

- Fred Allen

What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.

- Fred Allen

An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.

- Fred Allen

I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.

- Fred Allen

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.

- Fred Allen

I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.

- Fred Allen

The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's lane holding his own hand.

- Fred Allen

Committee - a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done.

- Fred Allen

The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.

- Fred Allen

California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.

- Fred Allen

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.

- Fred Allen

California is a great place to live if you're an orange.

- Fred Allen

All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.

- Fred Allen

An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.

- Fred Allen

I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there.

- Fred Allen