I would become a priest or a rabbi or a... by Lenny Bruce

comedian controversial satirist Activism stand-up comedy

I would become a priest or a rabbi or a monk or whatever the hell was necessary to perform miracles such as taking money from someone else's pocket and putting it into mine, still remaining within the confines of the law.

- Lenny Bruce

Other quotes by Lenny Bruce

Communism

Communism is like one big phone company.

- Lenny Bruce

If you live in New York, even if you're Catholic, you're Jewish.

- Lenny Bruce

School

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like: What I'm going to be if I grow up.

- Lenny Bruce

Justice

In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.

- Lenny Bruce

Alright, let's admit it, we Jews killed Christ – but it was only for three days.

- Lenny Bruce

Tragedy Time Will

Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. Which is rather ridiculous, when you think about it.

- Lenny Bruce

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