I had a friend who was a clown. When he... by Steven Wright | We Heart Quotes

Friends Humor comedian Car stand-up comedy

I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.

- Steven Wright

Other quotes by Steven Wright

How do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink?

- Steven Wright

Walking

I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.

- Steven Wright

If you tell a joke in the forest but nobody laughs, is it still a joke?

- Steven Wright

Ocean

Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen.

- Steven Wright

I was pulled over by a cop for running a stop sign. He said, Didn’t you see the stop sign? I said, Sure, but I don’t believe everything I read.

- Steven Wright

I made wine out of raisins so I wouldn’t have to wait for it to age.

- Steven Wright

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Friends, you will notice that in this world there are many more ballocks than men. Remember this.

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I started writing this feature comedy in New York - a Chris Farley vehicle. The script was decent. When I got to LA, I met some new friends in film school and had them read my script and give me notes.

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The vulgar crowd values friends according to their usefulness.

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We do not so much need the help of our friends as the confidence of their help in need.

- Epicurus